Tag: wife

How To Keep Fashionable As A Busy Mom

So many of my memories are connected to a piece of clothing. From my little AC/DC T-shirt to the matching homemade poppy-printed white-cotton sundresses my mother used to make for my sister and me (even though we’re five years apart in age). In fact, I would feel very comfortable saying that some of my first real memories are from when I first discovered fashion, and it all began in my parents’ closet. I would spend countless hours trying on clothes (that were way too long and big for me) into something that made sense to who I was.

Did it change when I became a mom? I don’t think so. I follow a theory that spending too much time in front of the mirror is neither good for your style nor your soul, so I was well equipped by the time kids and work became the same equation. The one thing that has an effect is age, and it has slowly influenced and evolved my style each year. It’s small and subtle, but everything is a little grown-up now. Quality is at the forefront, and I think more and more about where my clothes come from and how they’re made. This body is not what she used to be, so my style is graciously making this realization an easier transition, if you know what I mean.

Feel Good Before Looking Good

For me, this really goes hand in hand, but if you think you look great but you feel terrible with what you are wearing, then trust your instinct and head back to the wardrobe. One thing’s for sure: If you do not feel good about yourself, this season’s Gucci suit will not make an ounce of difference in how you take on the world that day. I follow a theory that spending too much time in front of the mirror is neither good for your style nor your soul.

There Are No Rules

Times are changing, have changed, and will keep changing. And lucky for us, as women, the days of suits in the boardroom, dresses in the parlor, and negligee in the bedroom are over. We refuse to be defined by the many hats we wear (no pun intended), so why should our personal style be any different? Goddammit, let’s mix that sexy underwear with that suit, and let’s wear that suit to school drop-off. Hell, wear some Nikes and smart-looking leisurewear to the boardroom—whatever works in your life, because you’re the one living it.

It’s Okay Not To Care

As working mums, we don’t have much time to stand in front of the mirror trying on a million outfits till we get it right. Also, if you’re a new mum, a mum-to-be, or just enjoying the winter, there is a good chance your body is changing constantly, and getting dressed in a hurry can be frustrating and stressful. I find investing in a number of “safe” pieces that can you ride you through the storm, such as a classic white dress shirt, a well-cut black blazer, pants, and a coat.

Love Joyce xxx

Keeping The Marriage Afloat

I’ll be honest, romance and new parenthood aren’t two things that usually go hand-in-hand. During my first Valentine’s Day as a new mom, my daughter was 14-weeks-old and barely sleeping. My husband and I, both exhausted, did our best to make it through an overpriced, super rushed prix fixe dinner at Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills. When we got home, we relieved my parents, and fell asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow. All the heart eyes, right?

Before baby, romance was easy: weekend getaways, spontaneous date nights and the clarity of mind to order “just because” flowers now and then. Since settling into motherhood, I now consider brushing my hair to be a real attempt at romance. Like so much having to do with new parenthood, maintaining a connection with your partner is so important during those early days, but is often one of the last things a new mom or dad has time to think about. With that in mind, I wanted to offer some practical tips to keeping the spark alive between you and your partner during this huge transition.

Redefine romance.

The biggest mistake new parents make is hanging on to pre-baby expectations of “romance.” As much as you may want to believe that having a baby won’t change you that much, the sooner you accept the inevitable—that it changes everything—the easier things will be. Prior to having our baby, my idea of romance was a lazy weekend on a beach in Mexico, drinking margaritas and sleeping in ‘til 10. Who wouldn’t love that? That being said, the best date I’ve seriously ever gone on was to the grocery store date with my husband when our daughter was still a newborn. It sounds so silly, but it was on a day when I needed him the most. We leisurely perused the aisles while catching up on each other’s day and may have even opened a bag of chips before we checked out. I realized that real romance isn’t about flowers or margaritas (although I still enjoy both), it was about feeling seen and appreciated. He knew I needed a break and he gave that to me.

Show appreciation.

Oftentimes, the disconnection many new parents feel is due to the fact that baby is serious work. Sure, it’s a rewarding life journey that we’re blessed to go on, but it can be challenging. I, for one, am totally guilty of being overtired, irritable and, at times, a bit irrational (I once got so upset at my husband for getting the flu when our daughter was seven-weeks-old that I threw a shoe at him. Admittedly, it was a real low point.). Then, I decided to shift my focus. Instead of being annoyed at the socks on the floor or the dirty dishes, I tried to focus on the small gestures he made to make our day a bit better and thank him for it. Remember what your mother used to say: you’ll catch more flies with honey. As simple as it sounds, kindness begets kindness, and the more appreciative we were towards one another, the more connected we felt.

Date your partner, not your baby.

Everyone knows that “dating” your partner is important. As soon as you feel comfortable leaving your child for an hour or two with a family member or caregiver, it’s important have those small dates, whether it’s dinner, a movie, or even a trip to Target. However, my husband and I often fall into the trap of going to dinner and then staring at photos of our daughter. It’s so stupid and happens pretty much every time. Even if we put our phones away, we will somehow end up telling funny stories about something she did. We know that the conversation will eventually lead to our little human, so we really try to make an effort at the beginning of dinner to talk to about what’s going on with one another, away from the baby. So much of romance is about feeling that your partner actually sees you, and sometimes reminding each other of the people we are outside of parenthood is a great way to reignite that spark.

Love Joyce xxx